IF YOU’RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE RICOCHETING ALL OVER THE PLACE RIGHT NOW.
It was hard enough being a woman in a man’s world.
But now we have to be women in a man’s world during a global pandemic?!
Can’t a feminist get a break around here?!
Sometimes you feel confident, empowered, even brave.
But often you feel anxious, insecure, guilty, and afraid.
Have you ever wondered WHY it sometimes feels like you’re living in a split-personality brain?
Because there IS an explanation.
AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
It's not because of Covid-19 either.
It's not a coincidence that:
- Most women experience imposter syndrome, anxiety, and people-pleasing.
- Women start hating their bodies before grade school is even over.
- Women negotiate less, speak up for themselves less, and generally are more likely to feel disempowered in their own lives (especially if they are women of color, fat women, alternately-abled women, or part of any other disadvantaged group).
IT’S BECAUSE SEXISM HAS GOTTEN INSIDE YOUR BRAIN.
Society has taught you how to think in ways that diminish, objectify, and devalue you – even to YOURSELF.
That was true before the coronavirus, of course.
But when something disruptive happens, it just amplifies all of the fault lines that existed before.
So whatever self-critical thoughts, fears, guilt, or anxieties you had before?
Now the volume is turned up to 10, and the speakers are about to blow out.
Kara’s UFYB podcast has been a game changer for me. The only thing better than listening to the podcast and doing the thought work myself is sharing that experience with a community of like-minded individuals who are also committed to doing the work. Getting personal feedback on mental roadblocks you’re having in real time, while also reading about the work other students are doing will exponentially expand your perspective, deepen your understanding, and expedite transformative potential. Having a community of UFYB podcasters to interact with definitely takes the podcast experience to the next level.
The good news is that sometimes a crisis can clarify sh*t in a productive way.
Sometimes a change in routine is what motivates us to take a closer look at how we are living our lives – and if we want to change them.
We aren’t guaranteed anything in this life.
Especially as women in a male-dominated society.
We have to learn how to go after what we want, and never back down.
And to do that? We have to understand what the f*ck is going on inside our brains so we can feel ...
... brave instead of afraid
... deserving instead of inadequate
... proud instead of ashamed
The most insidious thing about society teaching you to feel bad about yourself is that you can't even tell it's happening.
BECAUSE THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE.
You think the thoughts, and they seem like they are YOUR thoughts.
But they aren’t. They are messages from a poison bottle that you don’t know how to recognize or change. All of the political action in the world isn’t going to change that. And what happens?
- You don’t go after your dreams because what if you fail and what will people think?
- You hate your body, which is only ever trying to love you.
- You make less money.
- You play small.
- You stay in relationships that aren’t working for way too long.
- You care more about what other people think than what you think, even of yourself.
In short, you smother your authentic self and desires again and again and again, all to win some prize that never comes.
But if the last few weeks have taught us all anything, I think we can agree it’s this:
WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT SH*T.
No one knows what the future holds.
But you can let that uncertainty turn into stagnation … or you can shoot for the stars. (Even if you have to start building the rocket ship for your life from inside your living room).
It’s time for a feminist mindset revolution.
WELCOME TO THE CLUTCH.
An online feminist coaching community.
The Clutch teaches you how to liberate yourself from the inside out. And that means:
- Not caring if your boss is happy with you, because you are 100% happy with yourself and you don’t need to control what other people think about you to sleep at night.
- Not caring if a Tinder date is attracted to you, because you feel so confident about your value, worth, and yes your hotness, that it doesn’t even cross your mind to feel insecure.
- Not feeling guilty as a working mom because you know you’re doing an amazing job balancing all your responsibilities, and you’re able to be present and enjoy each part of your life while you’re in it.
- Knowing deep in your bones you can handle whatever life throws at you. Keeping your cool no matter how much everyone around you is freaking out. No matter what.
It’s the community of women you didn’t know existed and can’t live without.
One of my favorite parts of learning thought work from Kara was going through the process as part of a diverse community of women. The community aspect made it work for me where solo self-coaching attempts failed. There’s no better way to illustrate how it is always our thoughts causing our feelings than to see someone in a different situation working through the same pesky thoughts. The thought that we’re all on this journey together, regardless of circumstances is a lesson that will stick with me and that has made me more compassionate in relationships outside coaching-land too. Thank you, Kara!
We are only going to be able to create true freedom when we truly feel free.
Not just intellectually, but emotionally.
Not just in theory, but in reality too.
I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I LIVED IT.
I went to the fanciest of schools (Harvard and Yale, in fact), I marched in all the protests, I racked up every brass ring that was out there for me (hello judicial clerkship, academic fellowships, and feminist awards). And I still felt terrible.
- I pretended to be confident but I was horribly anxious at any sign that anyone might be displeased with me.
- I claimed conventional marriage was outdated but was desperate for a romantic relationship to validate me so I could just feel normal.
- I knew that the media was making me feel terrible about my body but I couldn’t stop hoping that if I just lost 20 pounds all my dreams would come true.
Eventually, in my quest to feel better (and let’s be honest, to “fix” myself because I still thought I needed fixing), I discovered life coaching. I got certified as a life coach, and then as a master coach, by the best coaching school in the world. The tools I was learning to shift my thought patterns helped, and I started to help other women with their minds.
And then I saw it. I realized that the thought patterns my clients were bringing to me weren’t isolated. They weren’t accidental. They weren’t random.
They were a product of the patriarchy. They followed specific patterns that matched how women are socialized and taught to think about themselves.
And yet every woman coming to me thought that she was different. She thought she was crazy. She thought she was alone.
I REALIZED THAT WOMEN DESERVE MORE THAN FEEL-GOOD AFFIRMATIONS.
They need – we ALL need – concrete effective help getting negative social messages out of their brains for good.
I recreated all of my coaching tools using a feminist lens, and tested them on my own brain. They blew my mind, and my clients started breaking through to levels of confidence, self-love, and joy they had always imagined were possible for other women…but not for them.
Knowing intellectually about sexism doesn’t translate into self-acceptance or self-love. Because the women’s rights movement is a work in progress. But it’s not enough.
ENTER: THE CLUTCH.
An online feminist coaching community where you can learn how to create true, authentic confidence in your own heart and mind - and bond with other bad-ass women who are doing the same.
Because you should never try to navigate a man’s world as a woman on your own.
I don’t think it matters how old you are to start working on yourself - in fact the earlier the better! I’m 22 now and I’m so grateful every day to have discovered this work when I did because it used to feel like every day was a struggle, and now I’m actually excited by uncertainty (isn’t that crazy!!).
A huge part of why this work is so effective is knowing that you’re not alone and it’s empowering to be in a group of such intelligent and strong women from all around the world. A lot of the time people will bring up things that you can 100% relate to and so (1) you realize you’re not the only one going through this, (2) you get insight on something you might have been too afraid to bring up, and (3) nobody is here to judge you. Even better, you also realize that by sharing your story and working through your thoughts, you might also be helping someone else.
THE WORLD IS ALWAYS COMING AT YOU, WITH NEW CHALLENGES.
I mean, who thought you’d be leading team meetings in your pajamas just a few weeks ago? But here we are, and now all your coworkers have met your cat on Zoom.
The Internet can be a terrifying place these days – the news and your social media feed are filled with panic and fear and grim statistics. And yet, the Internet is one of the few ways you have to connect with others while you’re under quarantine.
With the Clutch, you have somewhere positive and uplifting to go online. Anytime. Anywhere. For anything. And a community that has your back.
- Because you’re always going to be a woman in a society built by and for men. You’re always going to need advice, feedback and support in changing your thought patterns, navigating the world, and creating your best life.
- Because a good clutch goes with any outfit and holds all the essentials you need.
- Because clutch is exactly what you need exactly when you need it. And the Clutch is exactly what your brain needs, whenever you need it.
Feminism isn’t just about being an individual.
It’s about a movement.
That’s why we’re in this together.
JOIN THE CLUTCH.
Conversations that dig deep.
A community that helps you grow.
Transformation that will blow your mind.
Learning how to manage my mind in a group of women using Kara’s work was a life changing experience for me. It helped me see the world and my interaction with the world in a totally new way. I’m so much more empowered to live how I want to live, achieve what I actually want to achieve, and most of all go from living in fear to ENJOYING the journey and all it brings!
THE CLUTCH SELF COACHING SHORTCUT
The UnF*ck Your Brain Model, a self-coaching tool you learn when you join that helps you change your thoughts about yourself and the world on purpose, to create the feelings and actions you want in your life.
PANDEMIC PANIC MODULE
A module of resources available as soon as you join that help you cope with the very specific challenges posed by this time of health anxiety, economic disruption, and social distancing life.
Bonus listener Q&A episodes ONLY available to members that help you apply the teaching to real-world situations in your own life.
The chance to apply for LIVE coaching from me every month on a video coaching call and learn from watching me coach other women with brains just like yours.
Coaches hand-trained by yours truly on call to answer all your coaching and thought work questions so you can get the most transformation possible out of the tools you are learning.
A set of workbooks corresponding to the best of Kara's podcasts to help you deepen and truly apply what the podcast teaches to your own brain. Plus a community of new friends to discuss the questions with in the FB group!
24/7 access to a Facebook community of like-minded women, who are all committed to evolution, growth, and empowerment and are excited to trade ideas, discuss this work, and help you apply it to your own life.
The most amazing part? That's $3,975 of value, every month, but you get it for
only $97 a month. Yeah, you heard me right.
Let me summarize: It’s going to be your favorite place on the Internet as soon as you join.
So if I were you, I’d smash that join button now!
What’s it like to be a member of the Clutch?
After a month in the Clutch you’ll start noticing that you just feel…a bit more chill.
Your emotions aren’t so much of a rollercoaster. You’re getting more done and starting to feel more confident about your abilities and your worth. You’re a little nicer to yourself. You’re spending less time scrolling Instagram feeling bad about yourself or Facebook panic-reading the headlines, and more time blowing your own mind with thought work in the Clutch Facebook group.
After two months in the Clutch you’ll realize it’s been a while since you took sh*t personally.
Suddenly, without quite knowing how it happened, you just feel less judgmental of yourself and everyone around you. You won’t get freaked out when something unexpected happens, because you know you can handle it. You catch your reflection in the mirror and surprise yourself by thinking “damn girl, looking good!” You have more patience with yourself and those around you.
After three months in the Clutch, your brain starts coaching itself.
You’re naturally and effortlessly thinking more positive, productive, and helpful thoughts, and when you look back at your thoughts from month 1, you don’t even recognize some of them anymore. You show up at work as the bad-ass you always knew you could be. You show up in your personal life as the magnetic, loving, and happy woman you always wanted to be. And most importantly you’re excited for the future, because you are so proud of the work you’ve already done that you can’t wait to find out where managing your mind and the Clutch are going to take you next!
And after that? The sky is the limit. And the one thing you know for sure is that the Clutch will be there to help you get wherever you want to go.
In the past I tried self-help in one-on-one settings and I often felt that the professional didn’t understand my problems. In a group setting, I see that the majority of the problems other people are working on are the same as mine. Seeing the coaching tools applied to other people provides helpful repetition and group coaching shows me that I’m not alone. Also, being part of the online coaching-group community is inspiring!
GOOD BECAUSE THERE IS MORE.
Not only do you get all of the incredible teaching, learning, and support that is going to become an indispensable part of your self-care routine described above, you ALSO get these amazing bonus resources once you've finished your five-week introductory Clutch self-coaching course:
Work Stress Solution
My Work Stress Solution, which teaches you how to deal with the most common stressful aspects of your work life so you can kick ass at the office.
Dating Stress Solution
My Dating Stress Solution, which teaches you how to handle texting, first dates, ghosting, breakups, and every other part of dating without losing your cool or your mind.
UnF*ck Your Body Image Workbook
My UnF*ck Your Body Image Workbook, which is chock-full of concrete tools and practices you can start using immediately – and keep using every day – until you truly feel like the hottest thing on the block.
Recommended Reading List
My recommended reading list, full of great books and resources that I have vetted and know are teaching only helpful ideas and tools and nothing that is going to hold you back without you knowing it.
UnF*ck Your Brain Podcast Workbook
The UnF*ck Your Brain Podcast Workbook, with exercises specific to the most important and popular episodes that have already been released.
How to Get Really F*cking Organized Course
A bonus course that will teach you the exact process you can use to revolutionize your personal and professional life. Not only will you learn a foolproof system to organize your life, you’ll also learn how to deal with any obstacles your brain creates for you along the way. Oh yeah, and it will save you hours a week. Seriously.
Are you tempted to join but worried about how you'll find time to work through all these amazing resources?
I SEE YOU PERFECTIONIST BRAIN.
DON'T START WITH ME.
Listen, I know, you have a lot on your plate already. But here’s what I can promise you:
The reason you’re overwhelmed isn’t actually your job, your kids, or your dating life.
It’s not even the pandemic. Or the economy.
It’s your brain.
When you don’t know how to say no, when you take on things you don’t want to do out of guilt and obligation, when you’re constantly worried about your own worth and what other people think of you, know what happens? You feel exhausted and overwhelmed, all the time. Pandemic or no.
The Clutch is the answer to that problem. When you manage your mind you will always feel like you have plenty of time to do everything you want to do. And bonus, all of that time you are currently wasting on social media feeling bad about yourself you will now spend in the Clutch, feeling inspired and empowered instead!
Truly my love, it's a no-brainer. And this page is now over. So click that button below, and let's get started on the rest of your life - together.
I am so excited about living the rest of my life knowing how to manage my mind and, frankly, do what I want! Being in a group with women from many different backgrounds and at various points in their lives has taught me that we are almost never alone in our struggles and that nothing is “supposed” to happen in any specific way.
It’s like having a book club with strong, intelligent women who are all here in this judgement free zone with you to unfuck your brains together! Your problems are different but also similar, and from that you learn so much. I am so excited now for what’s ahead of me and am not afraid of struggle because it is now my friend. This group gave me the female companionship, support, guidance and mentorship that I never knew I needed, but ended up changing my life.